You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
