Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
