I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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