I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He felt like a one man threesome
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize