There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
