Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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