Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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