Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize