Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
