let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
