remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
