God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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