Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have aggressive nipples.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
