kristin has been a bad kristin
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
