I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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