Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
