i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
