Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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