I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
