WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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