why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
