It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
