he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
