is wine microwaveable?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
