Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
