he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Every concussion has its silver lining
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize