It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
