Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's just like the Real World with babies
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
