im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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