Ambien. No doubt about it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize