why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's official drugs can't kill me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
