Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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