also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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