Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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