Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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