Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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