I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
