You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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