so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
