I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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