Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Congratulations! We have a period
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
