also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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