I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
