so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
