Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
