her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
