Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
