And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
