Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
