I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
