Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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