Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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