some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
