i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Drake has all the answers
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
