i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
