I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I understand Curling. That high.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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