Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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