i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize